This time around we’re taking a look at the upcoming TV Show, Terra Nova, produced by Steven Spielberg. Basically, humans have pretty much SNAFU’d the future. So instead of just finally dropping the bomb and ending human life everywhere, somehow they discover a rift in time. This rift takes them back 85 million years and…well..gives them a second shot at buggering everything up again.
From where I’m sitting it looks like Jurassic Park: The TV Series. Seriously. I’m so sick of these dinosaur time-travel flicks. For one, it totally ignores the paradox of these people living in the past and dying in the past…before they’re born. Yeah, that time paradox thing really sticks it in and breaks it off. Ask Marty McFly.
But beyond that, if we’re gonna time travel, couldn’t we go somewhere else in human history? Like why not go back to biblical times? Y’know, hang out on a planet that’s been flooded for 40 days? Or how about Egypt during the plagues? Or if we can’t do that, can we at least go to a different country? Like Africa 85 million years ago or Japan or something. Must it always be some damned forest in the middle of America that may or may not be the same forest in Jedi? And can we please acknowledge that world was basically just Pangaea and that the weather patterns would have been entirely different? Just to spice things up a bit.
The perfectly politically correct cast of Terra Nova.
So WILL TERRA NOVA SUCK? You bet your ass it will. But Spielberg is on this, I hear you cry. Yeah, he also did Baywatch Nights. So I predict it’s gonna be one of those shows that just collapses under the weight of clumsy scripts, Brontosaurus sized plot-holes and of course, production costs. Give it a miss and watch Jurassic Park instead (which apparently has a 4th installment in the wings), also produced by Spielberg ironically.
PS: Speaking of Terra Nova, why don’t they bring back Vinnie Terranova? Now, that guy was a badass. And you wouldn’t even have to time travel. How cool would that be?
Vinnie Terranova. Wiseguy. Ask your mom.
September 27, 2011 at 5:19 am
This show sucks ass. Thanks for disrupting the football game for the pre-show. This is the worst “Lost” rip off that I’ve ever tried to see, and no polar bear. Horrible plot line, horrible actors….awful…awful..awful. Shame on you Steven.
September 27, 2011 at 5:22 am
What happened? The graphics are not even as good as Jurassic Park and that was 20 years ago? Give up already.